It sounds odd even though it can often be true: The happy holidays we say, wish and anticipate each year can in truth be a less-happy time for some in Naperville (IL).
A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association identified that 89% of U.S. adults said they felt stress during the holidays. In addition, 41% said their stress increased during this time compared with others on the calendar.
A few contributing factors to the holiday blues are easily identifiable. It’s cold out in Naperville, there can be outdoor limitations and hazards because of the snow and, with daylight savings, it’s typically dark by four-thirty, which can also contribute to seasonal affective disorder.
The holidays can further include stressors such as too much commercialization and shopping; unrealistic expectations; and perfectionism involving holiday preparations, plans and decorations.
In addition, some might have an existing condition requiring treatment, such as depression or anxiety, which can be further pressured by the other seasonal stressors. In 2023, the National Alliance on Mental Health reported that 64% of people living with a mental illness felt that their conditions worsened around the holidays.
What should we do, then? Should we accept a dampened holiday spirit merely as a fact of modern life?
The answer is we don’t have to. We can achieve peace, balance and calm through self-care and mindfulness.
Holidays and Stress: A Brain Perspective
Understanding the holiday blues can include recognizing sources of stress and how they interact with the brain. Through awareness of our stressors, we can use our brain to help us control our responses to them.
Many of us in Naperville are likely familiar with holiday stressors such as standing in long lines, being put on hold forever or being stuck in an airport or traffic. A region of our brain that will respond to these pressures is the hypothalamus.
Deep within our brain, the hypothalamus operates to help try to keep us in a stable state (homeostasis). It is connected to our autonomic nervous system, which coordinates involuntary responses such as our heart rate, breathing and blood pressure. The hypothalamus also informs our fight-or-flight response to real or perceived threats.
When we are under stress, such as in traffic that doesn’t move, the hypothalamus stimulates the release of hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine. These then trigger reactions such as frustration, irritability and a quicker pulse.
We can calm and manage these responses. For example, we can perform deep-breathing exercises that help awaken the parasympathetic nervous system, which is our internal center for relaxing and recovering from stress. Through slow, measured breathing, we engage the parasympathetic system’s ability to help restore balance.
Another brain region of note is the prefrontal cortex. This is the area that helps with impulse control, decision-making and emotional regulation. It works for us in assessing certain situations, such as escalating confrontations and highly charged discussions.
Through the prefrontal cortex, we can assess and consider our potential responses and actions under such circumstances. By understanding what can trigger us under stress, we can activate the prefrontal cortex as a source of calm and reason in identifying ways to manage or avoid the trigger.
For example, rather than be vulnerable to a heated discussion, an unresolved family issue or a brush with a conflicting personality during the holidays, we can defuse the tension by empathizing or by stepping away when we feel our inner steam whistle.
This is the prefrontal cortex in action: It helps us regulate the relationship between our initial emotional reaction and the adjustment to calm and empathy. Plus, the more we exercise this ability, the more we increase our own cognitive control, giving us even greater versatility in limiting stress and de-escalating conflict.
Holiday Self-Care Tips
The main thing to remember if we’re going through the holiday blues is they do not last forever. Feelings matter, but they also can and will change. We have the agency to get ourselves through them, and if we ever feel overwhelmed, we can always find support that will be there for us. We are not in this alone.
Many of us are ready to be kind to others – sometimes we can forget to be gentle and kind to ourselves. When we practice self-care in times of stress, we proactively preserve or improve our health.
The following are a few holiday self-care tips for greater peace and calm during the holidays.
Determine what’s really overwhelming you. There can often be one or two real drivers of stress. If you remove one or both, how much pressure will be lifted?
If they can’t be easily avoided, you can still be good to yourself with healthy, calming coping mechanisms, such as exercising, meditating, enjoying a hobby or simply stepping out for some quality “me” time. These practices can really help to re-charge the battery.
Setting boundaries is important as well. If we say “yes” to everything and everybody, we’ll soon discover less in the tank for our own mental and emotional balance.
Stay focused on moderation. When we’re under stress, we might fall into a state of excess or deficiency. For example, we might eat or drink too much (e.g., sweets, alcohol) or too little (e.g. when depression, stress or anxiety limits our appetite).
Limit too much rumination. When we’re faced with stress, our minds can constantly evaluate the present and the future. If we catch ourselves doing this, we can focus on returning to the moment and taking inventory of what’s really going on. Many times, the worst is happening only in our minds.
We also help ourselves when we recognize and accept that we can’t control everything. Sometimes we just need to let things be what they are and not overreact to them. When we are consciously peaceful and calm, we find ourselves much more able to move along in the stream the universe is creating for us.
Accept and own your feelings. Your emotions belong to you, and it’s okay to feel them. When you’re experiencing inner unrest, remind yourself that you are human, you’re moving through difficulty and you will emerge.
It’s okay to not feel joyful sometimes when it seems like everyone else is in the spirit. We will have up days and we will have down days. Denying ourselves the ability to process negative feelings can actually make us feel worse. Recognize them for what they are and allow yourself space and time to process and heal just as you might for a friend.
Curb time spent on social media. Social media is a coin with two sides. On one, we see and stay connected with people we care about or who interest us. On the other, we have an endless river of content, much of which can be the mental equivalent of salty or sugary snacks.
If we’re feeling isolated, lonely or sad during the holidays, social media also can amplify our emotions by presenting how joyful everyone else is. We might find ourselves feeling envious, judgmental or comparative, all of which lack mental-health benefits.
It’s okay to check in on family and friends or even enjoy a few posts or videos. But if we’re spending more time with social media than participating in our lives, or if we rely on it as a distraction, we’ll delay the balance and peace we truly desire.
Care for the body and soul in readily available ways. Allow yourself to get proper sleep to help limit stress. Drink more water, which is vital to physical health. Practice gratitude by reflecting on all the things you do have and are thankful for. Consider volunteering for a meaningful holiday cause and enjoy the sense of purpose it gives you.
Mental Wellness During the Holidays: Individual Therapy
There is no clinical diagnosis of “holiday blues,” and it’s possible to experience them without having a diagnosable mental-health condition. It’s also possible to have both a condition and the holiday blues at the same time.
Either way, if you or someone you care about finds that the blues or a condition is becoming more pronounced, you can connect with caring support at Eunoia Counseling.
We provide individual therapy for people of all ages and backgrounds throughout Naperville and its surrounding communities. With our compassionate, trained professionals, you can pause in peace for reflection, learning and growth.
Just a few of our healing and clarifying approaches might include:
- Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
- Family systems therapy
Individual Therapy for Naperville (IL): Contact Us Today
Whether during the holidays or any other time of year, Eunoia Counseling is a port in the storm. We are honored to adapt treatment to the individual, whether for depression, anxiety, the holiday blues or another area for which you might be seeking support. To further discuss therapy or counseling in a safe, productive, confidential space, simply contact us at (630) 340-8747 or info@eunoiacounselingnaperville.com.
